if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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