Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
