A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
