I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
