he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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