oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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