Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
