She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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