My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
