i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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