Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
