I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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