He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize