you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
