Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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