Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
