It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
