Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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