i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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