Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
