I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
