my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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