So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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