The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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