PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
