so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
