So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
