don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
