I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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