OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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