there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
