its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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