Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
