i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
