Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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