I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize