So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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