We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
