I'm eating all of the evidence.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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