I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
