Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yo dont text me then not text me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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