did you get engaged???
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to coat check the pizza.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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