So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
