I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
