I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
