I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
