Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
