dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
