This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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