So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
