maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
