I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
