Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
