I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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