i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
