The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize