i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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