I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
