Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
