Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
