try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
